For the past two weeks, i tried to sleep till 2pm or 3pm.. eat.. watch tv, sleep again... facebook to check whether he change his status ... and sleep again.
i wanted to die so badly. but i know its silly. Millions of people want to leave out there... and u are giving up ur precious life so easily? i know i wont give up easily.. just that when one is at the desperate end... giving up seems to be the only options.
for the two weeks when he didnt change his status. i thought we still have a chance... that's my one-sided thought. he already moved on. out of our circle... yet i am still in it, round and round.
today, i woke up at 10am... i dunnoe why, but i took an hour to think about him again... again and again... he just keep popping up in my mind... the time we spend... i thought of the happy times we spent. please smile, because we once shared the happy moments together =)
but still, i feel a pain in my heart and it starts to feel pain again. Pain.
how much can a tiny four letter words hurts? ALOT.
he still didnt reply me.
all i want now is to know the reasons.
but he still refuse to talk now.
LOVE is unfair. right from the start, it is never fair.
our love did not change, our faith in each other change.
he loses faith in the relationship.
and i became imperfect for him.
the truth is, no matter how imperfect it is. i love him for who he is. that's why we love each other , wasn't it?
But time took our faith away...
and i wonder if it will returns.
Day 16.
i gave myself 730 days to forget about him.
2 years of loving him, 2 years to forget him.
but 730 days seems to be so short. each day i love him more, miss him more.
i thought about the next few dates... 15/3 our supposed two years.
3/5 his birthday.
this year is different, cause i am no longer allowed to spend it with him.
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